@robertkwendt || lead pastor
It felt like it was going to be forever. Do I really have to wait until marriage to have sex? Is that really what the Bible says?
Let's be honest: this is not a very attractive element of following God, waiting to have sex until marriage. In fact, it's one of those things that may even make following God seem impossible. Or, if we're truly honest, it's one of the areas we choose to not really follow—even though we do want to follow God.
Like a loving parent or guardian tells a child to hold back from things that will hurt them in the end, God has that same heart. He wants the very best for us and tells us to 'wait' out of a protection for us rather than it being merely a hard-hearted rule.
Here are some things God says and why we should listen to him.
sex has consequences.
Newton's Third Law of Motion says: "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." For example, when a fish swims, it pushes its fins backwards while the water reacts by pushing the fish forward. A car's tires spin in the opposite direction of the desired direction because the road pushes back in the opposite way.
Discoveries like this law in science are fascinating, but they're also proof that God has been showing us this all along. Paul, in writing to the Galatians (see Galatians 6:7-9), says, "For whatever one sows, that will he also reap."
When we choose to have sex, we must know that it comes with consequences. Here are just three:
1) Sex is powerful. It has the ability to create life. No means of protection comes with 100% guarantee. The reason: sex is powerful. It is so powerful that it can create life. While no child should ever be labeled a "mistake," we do know that a newborn baby is a life altering event. It changes everything. When we have sex, there is always the possibility of making a baby!
2) Sex has physical consequences. The CDC has this statement on their website: "HPV is so common that nearly all sexually active men and women get the virus at some point in their lives."* When we think of sexually transimitted diseases, we often think of the big names like AIDS. But it's diseases like HPV that we must also be aware of. There is physical contact that takes place during sex, and it has consequences.
3) Sex has emotional consequences. There is really no such thing as a one-night stand. In the days, weeks, months, and years ahead, that moment in time is etched into our memory banks. There may only be one night of actual connection taking place, but it's not forgotten about. Additionally, there's a bond that takes place—an emotional bond. God designed it that way. He wants us to be bonded to the person in a deeper way. We cannot ignore the fact that this takes place.
a glimpse at god's design.
When we look at Genesis 2:24-25, we see that two individuals become one flesh. We see this bond and commitment take place. This takes place when the man holds fast to his "wife." Not his friend or girlfriend or fiancée, but his wife. God designed it this way. He gave us companions. He designed marriage for us to be able to navigate this world. Paul, in sharing his views on marriage, even explains that if one has a burning desire for sex, then they should get married (1 Corinthians 7:9).
The other thing we see is that Adam and Eve felt "no shame." When we follow God's plans, there's no reason to be ashamed. There's no concern of the consequences that could happen. A child doesn't feel shame when following the guidelines of his or her parent. In the same way, we should not feel shame when we are following after God's heart.
The reality is, we all mess up. It may or may not be sexually, but we have done something to mess up. The good news is, Jesus forgives!
1 John 1:8-10 says, "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us."
For every action, there is a reaction. That's why when we messed up, God came down to us to save us.
No matter what our past has been, we must understand that Jesus wants to give us a new story. He wants us to be in relationship with him, and he did everything possible to restore that relationship.
If you've messed up, know and rest in the fact that God loves you and forgives you through your faith in Jesus Christ. Also know that when we live for Him and follow His guidelines, we begin to realize just how much wisdom He has. We see how things work out.
We realize God's design is best.
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* CDC, "HPV Statistics," https://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stats.htm.